Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
