You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize