using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
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i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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