What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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