Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
