afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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