Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
