I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
