You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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