His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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