i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She bit a glass in half.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize