The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize