my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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