check it out our google latitudes are spooning
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I need to calm my uterus...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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