I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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