So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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