Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize