he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
