So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
