my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
