I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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