I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
