Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
