I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
