there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
