i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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