i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
i've created a new STD.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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