I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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