Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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