The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
