The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
