guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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