69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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