Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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