i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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