I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
It's just like the Real World with babies
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We don't watch enough power rangers
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
