She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
