I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
These tits shall not be calmed
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