Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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