mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
