He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
