I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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