do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Randomize
