Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
