3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
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i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
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From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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