youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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