Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
