The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
