Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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