You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize