and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
