Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
