How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
