before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
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i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
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So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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